Studying... but not for college.

Last night I dropped the rest of my summer classes. This was a big decision for me. It took me hours to decide if I was going to actually go through with it. I'm now out money and time and I have to now take 18 hours next spring for my last semester. It seems a little daunting, but I have faith that I can get through it. I mean, I did it this past spring.

I was so upset about it last night. I felt like a complete quitter. It means that I've now dropped three classes this summer. Over the past year, I've had to resign from so many different things because life just keeps happening. Do I regret dropping my organizations and such? No, not really. (I kind of missed SGA). But I feel like I just keep having to quit everything.

There's just so much going on right now I just couldn't keep up on my school work. Usually I'd say I'm a student first, but I just think that my living situation and my wedding are a bit more important right now. I would have been able to do it had I been able to focus this last week rather than try to find a new place to live. But that's alright. Things happen and I'm just happy now that I have a full month off from school (which is my first break pretty much since I started college), and I can now focus on moving and my wedding (15 DAYS!!!).

One super upside about dropping my classes is that I can go back to reading my spiritual books! I'm so excited about it. I've been on Humility for such a long time now. Don't get me wrong, it's a great book, but I have so many I want to read! In fact, I just read my favorite part of the book, and I wanted to share it with you.

C.J. Mahaney shares different ways to culminate humility in your every day life. He has a list of ways that he works his way through. The section I'm just about done with talks about sleep and how even the act of sleeping should be humbling. Mahaney points out that sleep shows that we are truly dependent on the Lord. He sustains us during our sleep. He could have created us to not need sleep. But instead he gave us the gift of sleeping. We are not self-sufficient; we NEED God to sustain us.

Mahaney also points out that sleep is completely an act of trust. He says, "Your sleep tonight will be a small but real act of faith. You'll lay your full weight on a bed, trusting this structure to support you. You can fully relax, because no effort at supporting yourself is required; something else is holding you up. And in the same way, throughout the night as you sleep, Someone else is sustaining you. This is a picture of what it's like to belong to Christ." (pg 84-85). I must say that I've never thought of sleep like that. I always just thought of it as something I had to do. Now I try to make a conscious effort every single night before falling asleep to thank God for this amazing gift.

I'm really learning a lot from this book on how to try to be more humble. Every single person struggles with pride. I definitely do sometimes. Rather than lean on God to guide me through my worries and troubles, I try to be self-sufficient. I'm also working on transferring all glory to Him. I can think back to many accomplishments I've reached and I remember thinking, "Man, I did this. I rock." When in reality, nothing is possible without God. So now, any time I do something awesome, I transfer the glory to Him. It's a work in progress, and it's something that will take effort every day.

It's like C.S. Lewis said in his book Mere Christianity: Becoming a Christian changes your whole life; it consumes all of you. Of course, he said it more eloquently, but let's be honest, I'm not that eloquent of a writer. Anywho, I really encourage you to check out Humility. It's a great book to study and to take lessons from. Each time I read it, I feel that much closer to God.