The F Word.

Lately Matt and I have been discussing something that is turning out to be pretty controversial among our friends. So let's just address head on, shall we? - Here's the issue: Matthew and I have started discussing starting a family. It doesn't mean that we are going to run out and get pregnant right this instant, but if that were to happen, we wouldn't be upset. Let's take a look at some of the responses we have gotten from our friends and peers:

1. You guys are way too young. 
My response to this is that there are people having children way younger than us. Couples used to have couples when they were younger than we are now. There's no "right" age to have a child. It depends on the situation. I know of girls my age who are having their second child and they are great moms.

2. You're going to California. You'll be all alone.
We're going to be alone no matter how long we wait. Whether it's in California or whether it's where we are stationed. That's part of the life we chose when Matthew joined the Air Force. We won't always be around our families or our friends. There will be times when we will be completely alone. But that doesn't mean we can't have a family.

3. You're not ready.
I truly hate this response. How can anyone know whether or not Matthew or myself are ready? You don't know what goes on in our house, in our minds. You only know what we tell you, what we show you. I don't believe that anyone has the right to state whether or not Matthew or I are ready for a family.

4. Looks of disgust.
I loathe this reaction as well. I don't understand how anyone could react negatively about someone wanting a child. I believe that it truly speaks about that person's character. - And yes, I did actually get this reaction from a "friend". I mentioned how we wanted a child and this person had a look of disgust on their face. I was horrified at their reaction.

5. You don't know what it entails. You're not thinking clearly about it.
Yes, I realize I don't completely know what it means to have a baby. But be honest. Does anyone ever have a baby and know exactly what they're getting themselves into? I even talked to my mom about it. Her answer was that she didn't know how she was going to do it even when she was in labor. She also said that she could tell me everything about having me, but that it wouldn't matter because it's different for everyone. So what I mean is this - no one knows exactly what they're getting into.

6. You probably can't afford it.
Again, how can anyone try and tell me about my own finances? Believe me, Matthew and I have crunched all the numbers. Especially once he goes off in the Air Force, we will be making enough money. Not that it's any of your guys' business.

7. Well, if you were already pregnant, I'd support you 100%. But since you're not pregnant already, I don't support you.
This is one of my favorite responses. I think it's actually quite hilarious.  Regardless of whether or not I'm already pregnant shouldn't matter. If you're truly my friend, you'll support me no matter what.

8. Straight up ignoring it.
I've had many friends try to just ignore it. I try to talk to them about it and they bulldoze over me with their own problems. Apparently, having different wants and different issues means they just don't matter.

And those my friends, are the top eight reactions that we've received from "friend" when we've tried talking about having a family. So, if you have any of these thoughts - please keep them to yourself. This decision is ultimately ours. If you can't support us, maybe we aren't as good of friends as we thought.

Why we are no longer attending Chi Alpha

*NOTE: Throughout this blog, please keep in mind that I'm in no way bashing Chi Alpha. There are so many good things about this campus ministry. There really are. But there are also a few issues, just like any other organization.

A lot of people don't know that Matthew and I are no longer attending Chi Alpha, and those who do know are wondering why. I figured it would be easiest to just do one big explanation here.

There are basically two reasons why we have chosen to leave campus ministry. The first of the reasons is that Matthew and I are ready to be seen as a young married couple, rather than those college kids who got hitched. I'm sure not everyone sees us that way, but we can tell there is a difference in the way we are treated. We understand that we may have different desires and different wants than most college students, but that doesn't mean we we don't want to hang out or have friends.

The second reason that we are no longer attending Chi Alpha is because we believe there is a clique problem. This is very common in almost every organization. There are about 40 people who always hang out on a regular basis and the rest of the organization is just left outside. There are about 200 people that regularly attend Monday service. Yet, only 40 are the "main" people of XA. These forty people will post pictures and tweet using the hashtag of "#community", which is a Chi Alpha thing. But I believe that hashtag can only be used if everyone is actually being included, which I believe isn't happening. For example, I was friends with someone in Chi Alpha. We became good friends really fast. Now, I haven't talked to that person in weeks and that person is suddenly very close friends with a couple others. I'm beyond the roller coaster of fair weather "friends".

My biggest problem with this is that there is leadership within Chi Alpha who knows that this is an issue, and yet are doing nothing about it. In fact, it's sometimes the leadership who show the most exclusiveness.

As I said at the beginning, I'm not trying to bash Chi Alpha. There really are many good things: service, small groups, etc. The sanctioned events are absolutely wonderful. The people as individuals are very nice as well. I believe that this campus ministry has good intentions, but I also believe that the organization has some work to do.

Matthew and I will be searching for a church here in Springfield in the mean time. This Sunday we will be trying the Courageous Church. I've heard some good things about it. If any of you have some good suggestions, just let me know! We really want to find something that we can get really involved in.

My wonderful weekend review.

Last weekend was busy! Matthew and I went up to Kansas City so I could meet his sister-in-law and his niece! I was really excited about this because I never thought I would get to be an aunt. Since I'm an only child, I wouldn't have ever been one. It's one of the many, many reasons I'm so glad I married Matt - he has four siblings.

so up to KC we trekked. On the way up, I wrote a six page paper that was due Sunday night. Talk about mentally exhausting. Once there we just hung out with his parents and sisters. It was very relaxing. Then Saturday we went over to a family friend's house - Dave & Pris. It was my first time meeting them and they were so cute! One of the cutest old couples ever. On the real though, they were both super nice and I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet them.

That night we went and picked up Rose and Ari! It was so great to finally meet them. It was saddening that I have yet to meet Matt's brother, but that will happen eventually. Saturday night we all just hung out and stayed up late. Sunday morning we got up for church! Here's me and Matt as we were leaving:

The message was really great that day. When we left I just wanted to go and save the world. After church we went to Chuck E. Cheese! Here's me and Ari right before we left:

Just try and tell me she isn't just the most adorable little girl ever. Here's some of us who got bored while waiting to order our pizza:

Yeah, we're pretty awesome. I really do love the Gleatons though. If I could choose any family to marry into, it would definitely be theirs. They have welcomed me right in and made me feel as if I've always been a part of their family. It was, and is, absolutely heartwarming. They've accepted me into their family so much that Matthew's dad, Miles, has proposed that I go on a trip with him after I graduate. He travels to Georgia (the country) and India and Thailand and all kinds of other places! He gets to see and do really cool things and he gets to connect with so many different kinds of people. I would so love to have an opportunity like that. When Miles mentioned that to me as we were eating pizza, I seriously wanted to just cry tears of happiness. It really meant the world to me that he would take me with him.

While we were at Chuck E. Cheese, all little Ari wanted to do was ride the carousal. I'm pretty sure that all of the aunts had a turn riding with her. Here's a picture from when I rode:

Yup, I'm totally cheesin'. But I'm okay with it! All in all, it was an amazing weekend. Being called "Aunt Janessa" was absolutely awesome and I can't wait until Matt's sisters start having babies so I can have a bunch of nieces and nephews!






Yesterday, I got to run around town changing my name! Yes, I finally got around to it. I applied/ordered my new Social Security card and my new driver's license! And I got my name changed at the bank. So it's officially official. I'm no longer Janessa Mitchell - I am Janessa Gleaton!

Home is where the heart is.

It's been over a week since I've posted anything - and that's because I've been insanely busy. Last Friday was my last day at Thompson Sales. It was definitely bittersweet, but I'm looking forward to new opportunities. Then, my mom came in town this past weekend! She stayed Friday until Monday and it was AWESOME.

Friday night we took my mom out to Nakato for her birthday. It was super delicious, as always. We got her the birthday special, so she got a dessert and a picture! Here's us:

It was so fun and so, so, so yummy! Then Saturday we went shopping and did all kinds of stuff. We went to Kohls, then to an animal shelter, then to Bass Pro! We got SO MUCH STUFF there. Knocked out a ton of Christmas presents. I love that Matthew works there because the discount is amazing! Then after our 2 hour spree there we went to Old Chicago for dinner. We had the best waitress ever. When I go back, I'm going to ask for her. After all that we went home and watched Water for Elephants. It was a long day!

Then, Sunday we went to a thrift store and found all kinds of awesome treasures. I got 20 new coffee mugs!

Aren't they cute!? After thrifting for a while, we went to Buckinham's to catch the end of the Chiefs game!

AND WE'RE TOTALLY 8-0!!!! GO CHIEFS! - Anyway, the food was delicious. I tried something new and LOVED it. We sat at the bar and had another awesome waitress. After hanging out there for a while we went back to the house and just kind of chilled. then we went to the Hotel of Terror!

It had been a few years since my mom had gone to a haunted house and I had never been, so we decided to go! I only cried once, and it was at the very beginning because the guy with the chainsaw cornered me. It was scary! The entire thing was so cool. It was only $11, which is super cheap. I'm so glad we went, and if I were going to be in Springfield next year, I'd totally go again. After that we just went home and watched Rush Hour 2.

When my mom and I woke up Monday we went shopping - AGAIN! I took her to Kirklands because she had never been. Of course she fell in love with it. I mean, it is an awesome store. After that though she had to leave. I was sad to see her go, but I'm so thankful she was able to come down for the weekend! This coming weekend, Matthew and I will be going to KC because his sister-in-law and niece are flying in from Hawaii!!!! I'm beyond excited for it. I always thought I was never going to be an aunt, and now in just four days I get to meet my niece!

Last night I went to Mardel - a Christian store here in town. I went looking for devotionals, and I left with three and a new Bible. Holy cow! I'm pretty excited about them though. The first devotional I found was this one:

This is a ten week Bible study that goes over Ephesians. If you know me, you know that I have a big love for Ephesians. It's also directed towards women, so that's exciting too. I'm going to work through this one first. The second one that I got was this one:

I'm not completely familiar with the parables of Jesus, so this one will be super awesome to work through. This also is a ten week study and I will do it once I'm done with Ephesians. (even though I want to start it now!) Then, as I was browsing, I found another devotional. But this one isn't just for me - it's for me and Matt.

There's 365 days worth of couples devotionals in this book. It's going to be super challenging but I'm really excited about it. I think this book will really help us stay accountable in keeping Christ in the center of our relationship. We're starting it today! I also got a new Bible. Mardel will put your name on your Bible for you, and so my first Bible has my maiden name on it. I asked if they could add my new last name, and they said no. I really wanted a Bible with my married name on it, so I bought a new one! I'm going to use it for my devotionals and studies and will use my other one for things such as Monday service and small groups and stuff like that. Here's my new Bible:

All in all, it was an amazing weekend. It really got me rejuvenated for this week. It even made it easy to get out of bed this morning when it was pouring rain! (which, by the way, my sweats are STILL wet). Weekends like this past one really just encourage me and remind me that God is so amazing! 

The Outsiders.

Great book, right? Well, that's not what I'm here to talk about today. I'm here to talk about what it feels like to be an outsider; what it feels like to be on the outside looking in.

Have you ever had a time where you saw a group of people having a grand ole time and thought "Man, why can't I be a part of that?" Ever had a time when you've felt completely excluded from a group of "friends"? Ever feel like you're just sitting on the sidelines? I have.

I've really been struggling lately with feeling like an outsider. I think social media really impacts this. I see all these pictures and statuses about my friends having a great time with one another. Now, don't think that I'm trying to whine and say "I'm not popular enough". Because that's not what I'm doing, AT ALL. I'm way beyond that stage. What I'm saying is this: it's hard to hear someone call you their friend, and then have them make very little effort. It's hard to see your "group of friends" having fun without you. It's hard to sit almost every night and try to figure out why you aren't good enough to want to hang out with. Why you aren't good enough to get an invite.

This is something that has been really heavy on my heart lately. In the last couple weeks, I lost a girl who was supposed to be my best friend. But I thought, "I'm okay because I have an entire community that I'm included in." But then when I really looked at it.. I kind of don't. I have a few friends that actually make a big effort. Other than that, I'm that friend you say hi to at sanctioned events. At least, that how it feels. I see other people move seamlessly into the groove of these friendships, and wonder why I can't fit in like that.

At first, I thought that maybe it was something I had done or said. Because in the past that was always a possibility. But I've worked very hard on my character. There's no way that I've said anything negative about anyone. I've worked really, really hard at becoming a better friend. I'd do anything to my friends. I've opened my home to them, multiple times. I've made an effort. But for some reason, I still can't break that barrier. I really was upset about it last night.

But then I turned to scripture. It doesn't matter how much of an outsider I feel, at least I will always have God on my side. In fact, I'll always be an outsider in this world because my heart belongs to God. It doesn't matter if I feel left out of my friends' group, because God accepts me just as I am. It doesn't matter if I'm married, or boring, or anything. For God, I don't have to change. He loves me just as I am. (Well, minus the sin of course.)

I found some complete comfort in that. I love my friends, even if I don't fit in very well. But even without them, I will feel loved by my God. Colossians 2:6-7

The winds of change.

Monday's must be a good day for change for the Gleaton's. Last Monday it was baptisms, and this week it's jobs.

Today, Matthew started his full time position at Bass Pro. He's working in their warehouse Monday through Friday. It's a guaranteed forty hours, and we're super excited about it. He will still be keeping his job at Gordmans and will just switch from stock room to the Home department. So some nights of the week he will be working there as well.

Today, I put in my two weeks at Thompson's. It was a hard decision at first, but I feel so relieved now that it's over. I have accepted a position at BYO Pizza, which is a new pizza place here in Springfield. It is only as a crew member, but there is a chance of being put up into management. At first I felt like this is a step down from where I'm at (I mean, I'm taking a pay cut), but the more I look at it, the more I see opportunity.

It's been a while since I've been in the food business, and I'm excited to get back into it, surprisingly. Pizza isn't something I've ever thought about doing, and I'm stoked to see what it's like. I also see opportunity because there is a chance to move up into management. I'm going to work hard to try and obtain that position. Here at Thompson's, I have no opportunity of moving upward. I'm stagnant and I hate it. It's time for a change, and I'm more than thankful that God put this opportunity in my path.

Also, since we're talking about change, Matthew got a ship date, finally. He's scheduled to be shipped out on March 4th. In case you're wondering, that's 140 days away. His job will be an airborne linguist. We weren't fully expecting that job, so we have a lot of details to work through. No matter what happens though, we know that God is in control and will put us exactly where we need to be.

There's a lot of other change that is going to be happening in our lives, and when it is official and stuff, I can't wait to let you all know! Change is good and change is fun. Praise be to God for opening all these doors for Matthew and I.

Ps: Here's a sneak peek at some of our wedding photos:

Getting older.

You know, getting older is pretty interesting. Yes, I'm aware that I'm only 20 years old. But there are days I feel much older than that. Being twenty is interesting in itself. I feel like between 20 and 25 is when you really start to move forward with your adult life. Friends change, people change, you daily life changes.

I've lost a friend recently (no, she didn't die, we just aren't friends anymore), and it was hard. Harder than I expected. I know that we have both changed and that our lives have changed - we are friends with different groups at school and we are both really busy. But what I didn't realize was how much other people actually held our friendship together. Without that glue, we easily let life slip in between us.

I look back at all the friendships that have drifted away simply because we said "well, we're both just really busy." What kind of life is that? I don't want to live a life where I miss out on friendships and memories because I'm "too busy". I want to enjoy every experience I can.

Family (and friends) have always come first for me. It's how I was raised. But now it's taken on a new meaning. I'm not ready to move on and have hardly any friends just because I'm married and "too busy". I've given a lot more of my time to people this year, rather than work or school. Don't worry, grades are still important to me. But knowing that I'm leaving next summer has kind of rearranged my priorities this school year. I will get a degree whether I have C's or whether I have A's. (I'm still shooting for A's, so don't freak out, guys.) But I won't always get to spend an extra hour with my closest friends.

I want to be that person that everyone knows that I am a family (and friend) person. I don't want my life to revolve around work or school. I want it to revolve around people. I want it to revolve around those that I care about, and those that I'm just meeting. I want to live my life, not rush through it being "too busy". I want to show more love, more gratitude, more everything towards those in my life. I want to make an even bigger effort than I already am.

Swtiching cell services... what a PAIN!

Oh...My.....Goodness.

That's all I can really say about this morning (well, not really). It was quite the adventure between last night and today. I may or may not have mentioned this on here before, but we've been having a LOT of cell phone issues since about August. So we've been going on three months with this issue. Basically, we have been having some serious signal issues. I mean, SERIOUS ISSUES. To the point that yesterday I couldn't send a text all afternoon and then when I was driving home I tried to call my mom and my call dropped two or three times and it was so static-y and garbled that we couldn't even understand each other.

Matthew tried to call Sprint's customer service last night, but they just kept repeating that there were towers down and being worked on and such. Matt finally gave up last night. After I got home we decided that we were going to try to get out of our contract. Without paying. So this morning we went into a store and they told us that we had to call customer service to be able to talk about cancellations. So we did. And thus started an hour and a half long process. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. They kept telling us about all the towers down - nationwide. Supposedly they are upgrading all their towers, but to do that they have to take them offline. Okay, cool. But that doesn't help us. We were so tired of paying for a service that we weren't getting. They said that if our signal success rate was 93% or below for three months in a row they could terminate the contract. My phone was at 93% for August, 90% for September, and they didn't have a conclusive number for October. So they "couldn't do anything". They offered to give us $30 off the next four months. Yeahhhh...NO. The first lady we talked to was super nice. Her manager was a jerk who pretty much hung up on Matthew. When we called back we got a guy that was pretty nice. Overall though, the service was horrible. It shouldn't have taken an hour and a half, if not longer than that.

Sprint refused to help us. It was seriously the worst customer service I've had in a long time. I'm not trying to bash them out of spite, it's just the truth. So we've terminated our contract with them. Yes, we are paying out the wazoo to do it, but we need service that can be counted on. Especially with Matt leaving soon. So we went straight to Verizon. The lady we worked with was AMAZING. And already we've had some serious improvements with our signal. Before, with Sprint, I had zero signal at home - with Verizon, I have almost full signal! HOLY COW! YAY! I'm really stoked to have a phone whose signal works all the time! Yes, Verizon is definitely a little more expensive, but to us, it's worth it to pay a little extra to get reliable service. Here's my new phone!

Lesson of the story: If you can use any service other than Sprint, DO. Especially if you're in Springfield. If you can afford it, use Verizon. LOVE IT.

Have you ever noticed that there is almost always someone who tries to tell you how to live your life? Whether it's your boss, your family, your enemies, or your friends? There is always another opinion who tries to change the path that you're on. Sometimes the opinions and advice can be good and sometimes it can be bad. Sometimes it just doesn't really matter.

Sometimes this fact just overwhelms me. So often I feel like I'm making decisions based on what others think and what others want for me. I'm constantly thinking of things that I want to do and then I stop to consider what others in my life would want. If I want something, is it possible that I could be taking something from someone else I care about? Is it possible that I could be acting selfishly?

These thoughts can consume me sometimes. I am so willing to give up something that I may desire, whether it be material or an experience, for someone else. And usually, I'm okay with it. But I've started noticing that with some things, it can make me feel inadequate. Sometimes when I base my life decisions on what others are telling me, I feel like I'm not capable of making these decisions on my own.

For example, when Matt and I got engaged and then said we wanted to get married this summer... so many people were against it. They thought it was too early, too fast. But we stuck by it anyway. Then, with the military, there were some who were against it. Another topic in our life that people are against is whether or not we have kids now or later. So many people have told me that we are just too young to have kids.

My opinion on that is younger, unmarried women have children and they do just fine. They are great mothers who love their children very much. Yes, I'm only twenty. But I am adult. I'm married and I'm about to get my bachelor's degree. When people tell me that I'm too young, or that I'm not ready, or that I just couldn't handle it right now, it frustrates me. How can anyone, other than myself, know if I'm ready to have a child or move away or whatever the circumstance?

I respect other's opinions. Highly respect them. But I've pretty much hit a point in my life where I'm going to start making my own decisions. I've started with making the decision with Matt to move away with the military. When it comes time we want a baby, we will make that decision. Or rather, God will make that decision. From here on out, I want to make decisions based off what's right for me and for Matthew. I want to just do our own thing sometimes. I want to follow the path that God has given me.

I'm not here to say that I don't love those in my life and that I don't value their opinions. Because I do. I really, truly do. But I'm tired of feeling like a child who can't do anything unsupervised. Some may think that I'm acting childish by posting this. But sometimes, having to write something out is the best way to get things out there. At least here I can go back over my words.

I'm ready to trust in God to get me where I am meant to be. He knows what's best for me.

My hope is built on nothing less.

Last night was seriously awesome. There's no other way to explain it. Part of me still feels the same, but another, much bigger, part of me feels completely different. A 45 second ceremony means so much to me and will have such an impact on my life.

Chi Alpha service last night was so great. Andy's message was ON POINT. He talked about how a good way to gauge how much you love God is to look at how you treat and love other people. The more you love other people, the more you love God. I've never heard anyone put it that way, but it's seriously so true. My life is a perfect example. Over the last year, as I grew closer to God, I loved on others more. I sacrifice for others more. (Which was another point Andy made - sacrifice and love go hand in hand.) By the end of the service, Andy was tearing up. It was so powerful and so true. Then, the worship team did wonderful! One of my very good friends Ashley sang last night and did amazing. I've been getting more and more into my worship and last night was definitely the most I've been into it. I had both hands so high in the air. It was so.... just wow.

Right after that, we went to Hammons Student Center for the baptisms. There were 13 people that were baptized last night! Some of them were some good friends of mine. It was so awesome to see them go through that. And it was awesome to see Matthew get re-baptized!

I was second to last. Sarah performed the baptism for me, and I'm so glad I chose her. She has been such a huge influence on my life and I literally don't know where I'd be without her. Honestly, she is one of the reasons I decided to go to XA this year. It may have only taken 45 seconds, but those 45 seconds mean so much to me. I've only been a Christian for a year and a couple months. To be able to publicly announce that Jesus is my Savior.... WOW. It was an amazing feeling. I literally felt like a new person when I resurfaced.

And maybe I'm still way top excited about it, and maybe I'm putting way too meaning in it, but I don't even care. For me, it was an amazing moment. I've literally never felt more close to God than I do now and than I did in that exact moment. I don't care what other people think - I know that sometimes having a child-like faith (and child-like excitement) can be an exceptionally good thing. I'm not ashamed of how excited I was to get baptized, and I'm such as heck not ashamed to show everyone how much I love God.

Here's the group of those who got baptized and those who performed the baptisms:

I cannot even put into words how much this Chi Alpha family means to me. They've have become my closest friends, and they'd do anything for me. It's my third and final year at Missouri State, and I finally found my passion, and my place.

After the baptisms were over, Matthew, Grant, Zach, and I went out into the lobby. In light of our problems we had been having, Matthew drafted a Resolution, much like the one from the movie Courageous (if you haven't seen it - you should!). We went out and bought nice paper and a nice frame for the document. Grant read each line aloud and Matthew agreed to follow it. After everything was read, all three of us signed it. It's now hanging on our wall, right next to the door.

If you want to know exactly what it says, just let me know. I can either send you the text or send you the document. While we were signing it, Andy walked up to see what we were doing. We had extra copies of the Resolution, so we gave him one. He read through it and told us how proud he was of me and Matthew. That moment right there was another one of my favorites from the night. I respect Andy so much, and to have him say he was proud of us... MAN. I think it's safe to say that I was just floating on a cloud all night last night. It even overflowed into today. I'm one very lucky and blessed girl. 

Weak made strong in the Savior's love.

I seriously just can't get over the song Cornerstone. It's just so relevant!

The dictionary defines cornerstone as:

1. a stone that forms the base of a corner of a building, joining two walls.

2. an important quality or feature on which a particular thing depends or is based.

The second one really gets to me. I mean, Christ alone, cornerstone. YES. For my life to be able to stand, it needs to be on a cornerstone, and what better cornerstone is there other than Christ himself?

Last night, while eating a DELICIOUS dinner at Ruby Tuesday, Matthew and I started talking about my faith and how it has grown over the last year. A year and a few months ago, I was so against religion and God. I thought it wasn't possible for such a thing to be true. Luckily, God moved within my life and showed me the truth. Since then, I've tried to learn as much as I could about this God of mine and how to have a relationship with Him and how to live out a Christian life.

I didn't even know it, but before having Jesus in my life I was so lost. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life, but I couldn't have been more wrong. What is so sad is that I didn't even know that my life was missing anything. I have people in my life who are still going through life so lost and missing this important element, and that saddens my heart. Getting to know God has literally been the absolute best thing to every happen to me.

Getting closer to God has been a rough, but enlightening path. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. As I grow closer to God, I grow as a person. I'm not saying I'm growing into a perfect person. Because I'm not. And I never will. But a lot has changed about me. Those who personally know me and have seen this change know it's true. I'm a completely different person than who I used to be. Yes, I still have pretty much the same sense of humor, and I still talk a lot and still love to laugh. But the way I approach my life is totally different.

Through God showing mercy and grace with me, I have in turn have (tried) to show the same to others. I'm not as quick to speak; I consider my words before blurting them out. I'm quicker to forgive. I'm generally more upbeat. I love everyone I know and those I don't know more deeply because I know how much they are worth. I don't judge as quickly or as harshly as I used to. I am willing to inconvenience myself for others.

Every single day I can see how God is moving within my life. A great example is the other day at small groups I excitedly volunteered to pray out loud for one of my good friends, Ashley. I had no intention of volunteering until after I already had. Even Ashley gave me a surprised look. I know that was God moving through me. He's building me up because He wants what's best for me. He knows what's best for me. His Will is better than mine could ever be. And I am so glad that I have a God who knows me personally and who loves me so much and so unconditionally that He wants the best for me. I mean, seriously, how cool is that?

Monday is going to be a big day for Matthew & I. Not only will I be getting baptized, but Matt will be getting re-baptized. That day Matthew will also be signing a Resolution that is similar to the one from the movie Courageous. It may be just another Monday to so many people, but for Matthew and I... it will be a brand new start. We've always put God in the center of our relationship, but we are going to re-focus that. I can't even fathom how lucky I am to be married to a man who loves God so much. Matt has been one of my most influential guides over the last year or so, and I'm beyond thankful for it.

I know that people have seen the change in me because they've made comments to me. This blog has seriously been such a blessing to me. Getting my thoughts into words has done wonders for me. And strangely, it's actually strengthened some of my relationships. (Plus it's a good way to keep everyone in my life super informed!) My hope for this blog is that God uses it to move in other people's lives. I hope they can learn from my mistakes and I hope that through this blog they too can feel the love that Christ has for them. Because it is unconditional and it is very real.

 

Christ alone, Cornerstone.

Take a gander at that song. It's probably one of my favorite songs of the moment. It was definitely something both Matthew and I needed to hear today.

Things have been difficult lately. There's been fights and hurt feelings, on both sides. I'm not sure why it's been happening, but I know it's going to turn around. I know that Matt and I can get through anything.. but it sure is hard. It also doesn't help that we have both been looking for jobs and it's been pretty discouraging, especially from my end. Life's kind of been a rollercoaster lately, and it's hard to keep up.

I'm so lucky that I have a God I can have a relationship with. Even though I'm a flawed sinner, He still loves me. He always has, and He always will. That fact alone has kept me going the last couple weeks. I've been getting frustrated with God lately, but this song totally turned that around. The chorus goes like this: "Christ alone, Cornerstone. Weak made strong, in the Savior's love. Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all." Perfect. Just what I needed. Just what Matthew needed. God always knows how to get the message across when He needs to.

God also answered some of our prayers today. Matthew got a full time job with Bass Pro today. It doesn't pay quite what we were hoping, but it's a guaranteed 40 hours every week. I also got a call today for an interview on Monday morning. I'm hoping this job can give me enough hours that I can quit where I'm at currently.

We were both getting discouraged because we couldn't find anything. But God opens the right doors at the exact right time. We needed good news today, badly. It was just the right amount of good news to tip the scale back where we needed it. So today, and everyday, I will thank God for provided for us every time. Now, more than ever, I am so excited to be baptized on Monday.

Matthew and I have dubbed tonight date night. After I get off from work, we're going out to dinner to just enjoy ourselves. It's been a while since we have had time to do this, and I'm really looking forward to it. I believe it will be good for us. We've both shown a lot of mercy towards each other, and I'm beyond thankful for it. I know that God put Matthew and I together for a reason. I can't imagine facing any of life's challenges with someone else. We are both striving to strengthen our faith and strengthen our relationship God. It's going to be a slow process, but it's happening and I couldn't be any more happy about it.

For those of you who are still looking for that special someone - keep praying. When it happens, it'll sweep you off your feet, in the best of ways. In the mean time, remember that Christ is your cornerstone and in Him alone you are whole.

Upcoming Baptism

Next Monday, after service, Chi Alpha is doing baptisms. Andy has talked about it for a couple weeks, and I've been debating over whether or not I thought it was the right time for me. As you probably know, I've never been baptized. Naturally I was (and still kind of am) a little nervous about it.

But after I talked it over with both Matthew and Sarah and I have decided that it's something I want to do.

I'm always telling Matt how I want to share with other people how much Jesus loves them. I bring it up at least once a week. It's one reason I feel so drawn to missions. But now I have something else I want to do. I want to share with other people how much I love Jesus! I'm so ready to publicly announce that I follow God and that I love Him with all my heart. I've grown so much in my faith over the last year, and I just am so excited to be doing this. And I'm even more excited to do it in front of my Chi Alpha family and to have Sarah actually perform the baptism. - It's safe to say that I'm beyond stoked for Monday.

I'm also stoked for tonight at small groups! It's finally testimony night. Ever since this night was mentioned at the beginning of the year, I've been excited for it.

Since I mentioned missions earlier, I suppose I could talk about something else too. On Monday night, we had a wonderful speaker come an talk to us at Chi Alpha. He is an awesome man who is doing such cool things overseas. For his protection, I won't go into detail on here. However, he said something that completely changed what I want for my future. Before I tell you exactly what changed.. let me give you a little background.

Since Matt scored well, he will learn a hard language. He will get to put preferences down of what language he wants and then he will be assigned one based on what the Air Force needs. We also have a list of possible places we could be stationed. Our top three, in order of how bad we want to be there, have been Hawaii, Maryland, and South Korea.

But that's changed. Monday night the speaker made a statement. He said "With some people, God will put it on their hearts to go outside of the U.S. borders to do missions." In that moment, God put it on my heart to attempt to get South Korea. I was so confused at first. I mean.. SOUTH KOREA!? Uhh... not my first choice... EVER. But I know God is calling me there, and I'm hoping the Air Force will be the way for us to get there.

Matthew can try to get Korean as a language. If he can, that's what he wants. Something I would love to do over there is open a coffee shop/cafe and get to know the people there. I want to build friendships there. One awesome thing about Matt's job in the Air Force is that he not only gets taught the language, but also the culture of where the language is most spoken. So if we got stationed in S. Korea, not only would he know the language, but he would know the culture too!

Something else that could be really super cool about doing something as such is that we could get Matt's parents involved. His dad just started a business that coaches young entrepreneurs to help them start businesses in other countries. I would totally be down to take some lessons from Miles! Also, Matt's parents love South Korea - it's where they met.

I know that living in South Korea would be hard. It's so far away from home. I would definitely miss my parents, my family, and my friends. But luckily, there are planes and passports and we can always visit. I can feel God pulling me that way, and I will make sacrifices for Him.

A House Divided Cannot Stand.

I posted this status on Facebook just moments ago...

You know what makes me sad? Seeing all these "Democrats" and "Republicans" pointing their fingers at each other saying the other is at fault for shutting the government down. The Democrats say it's the Republican's fault; and the Republicans claim it's the Democrat's fault. Fact of the matter is... it's all of Congress's fault.

"A house divided cannot stand." - We are all Americans. Maybe if we stopped trying to throw blame around, and we actually worked together, something might get done.

In the meantime, seriously pray for our country right now.

 I stand by that. Seriously. Yes, there are issues. I get it. Obamacare is a huge topic of debate. There are people on both sides who want to stand by what they believe. And there are also a lot of people who are wanting to stand by what their Party wants.

I believe that somewhere in the debate and the fighting it was kind of forgotten that we are all on the same team. We are all citizens of the same country. Yes, there will be problems - no country is perfect - but we can successfully get through them if we work together. It's very true that a house divided cannot stand. Right now, we are a house divided. And look what happened. Our government shut down, which led to over 800,000 people being furloughed from their jobs (meaning they aren't getting paid!). How is that being productive?

A lot of people have said terrible things about Obama. Not just about this, but in general. Fact is, he's our president. You may not like him, but you have to respect him. He's running a country that's very hard to run. One thing that I've seen a lot since Monday is people saying, "Obama, since there are people not getting paid, you should give up your pay too!" The problem with that is the Constitution mandates that the spending on his salary be spent. Regardless if there is a budget passed or not, the president's salary must be paid.

It makes me sad that so many people are turning against each other in the light of this. I've seen way too many fights on Facebook, on Twitter, and in person. There may not be a "right" answer this problem, but our country can get through this. It has before. But bear in mind... the longer there is fighting and finger pointing, the longer our house will stay divided.

I pray the Lord will watch over our country during this time. I pray He will give peace to those who need it. Lord, I pray that You will provide for those families whose jobs have been furloughed. America may have a separation between church and state, but we seriously need God to move in our country right now.

What a whirlwind of a weekend!

The last four or five days have been just absolutely NUTS. It was hard to keep up!

It all started last Thursday. Matt went to talk to his recruiter and then we packed up and left for Kansas City! We went straight to MEPS to start the swearing in process for the Air Force. The recruiter texted us while we were driving up and told us that they wanted to give Matt the DLAB that day rather than the next day. The squadron (which is about four or five states) was trying to hold a cryptologic linguist position for him, but he needed to take the DLAB first to see if he qualified for the job. The minimum score needed is a 105 for the Air Force. Matthew scored 122! I was so incredibly proud of him. Then early Friday afternoon we all met Matt at MEPS to watch him swear in. It was about a five minute process, but it was awesome. I swear, I've never been more proud of anyone in my life!



In the middle of swearing in!



The man who swore Matthew in.



Matt & I after he was done!

Then, after we went out to lunch, Matthew, Matt's dad & sister and I went to see the Mumford & Sons in concert! We were originally supposed to see them earlier in the year, but that show was cancelled. We didn't think we would be able to make this show, but we lucked out since we were in KC earlier than we expected. I must say, Mumford & Sons was definitely one of my favorite concerts I've been to. (It's not the favorite because I've seen Madonna - best concert EVER!) Here's some pictures from that!

 



 

 

The top one is a picture of the group (I know.. it's blurry), the middle picture is of all of us, and the bottom is a picture of all the fans! It was so much fun, even if it did go way too long. (Mumford and Sons performed for a little over two hours!) After the concert, Matthew and I went straight to my dad's because they were leaving early for the Mitchell fishing trip. This trip happens every year and it has been for at least fifty years. Only the men over 18 are allowed to go. Which totally isn't fair! So Saturday morning, we got up at 5 so they could leave. I went ahead and drove to my mom's because we were going to have a busy day.

 

We got up and got dressed so we could go to Walmart to buy a wedding gift! One of my mom's co-workers got married on Saturday! We didn't get to stay long because of family stuff, but it was so great to see them. Peggy looked absolutely beautiful! Here's proof:

 



 

 

Saturday night consisted of a marathon of Rizzoli & Isles with my mom! That was nice and relaxing. Then Sunday morning we went to brunch with my grandma Eleanor and papa Gene. We went to IHOP and it was so delicious. After we ate my mom and I went shopping! We went to Cracker Barrel so I could get an Air Force Tumbler.

 

Then we went to Kohl's so my mom could get jeans. She ended up leaving the store with one pair of jeans about five or six shirts. Hahaha. I got a cardigan that is super cute and a button down shirt. I saved $53 yesterday! Talk about bargain shopping. After we were done at Kohl's we went back to my mom's house. I was going to drive back home, but I was soooo tired. So I napped for a couple hours. Then I finally left. I wasn't quite ready to head back to the real world yet, but I did miss Luna & Lily.

All in all, it was a really great weekend. Definitely better than last weekend. I'm going into this week with a much better outlook and mood, which is good because school might kick my butt. Here's to a great week!

Ps. If any of you know of any jobs in Springfield, let me know!



Rough waters.

This last week has been one heck of a ride, my friends. There's been a lot of lows and a few highs. A lot of tears have been shed this week, and I'm so glad that it's finally over. It's felt like we've been on a boat in the middle of a hurricane.

To begin with, last weekend was good and bad. It was so great because  I got to see so much family in only two days. I saw all three sets of grandparents (minus one grandparent) in two days. It was busy, but wonderful. Matthew finally got to meet my great aunt Sister Mary Ethel. She's one of my most favorite family members. It was great!

But Saturday night, Matthew and I had our biggest fight yet. Mean words were said and it left us in a funk that lasted several days. I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't good. I can't say that I've ever been so mad at someone and yet still loved them with all my heart. It was definitely rough because it didn't seem like there was a light at the end of the tunnel for us and it was scary. But I was so hurt that I really needed some time.

To make matters worse, on Monday when I got to work one of my co-workers decided to go off on me. It was about something I tweeted about my job. It wasn't anything too horrible really at all. In my opinion, she should have have gone off on me at the front desk, but that's beside the point. She said hurtful things to me that she didn't have a place to say. For the second day in a row, I cried. Hard. I got so mad at God. I felt like everything was just falling apart and I didn't know why. I sat at the desk at work and just yelled at God. I didn't know what to do, I had yet to be mad at Him and I didn't know how to handle it. I mean, who am I to know if He'd get mad at me for being mad at him?

Luckily, I have some amazing friends. I had tweeted about how I was feeling super down and how I was mad at God and didn't know how to handle it. One of the best responses I had on Twitter was this: "It's a relationship. Healthy ones aren't always sunshine and rainbows. You being mad just shows you have a deep relationship." Literally so true. It was a perfect reminder. I also had a lot of friends text me to give me encouragement. Some offered verses to read (which were seriously helpful) and some offered to just listen to me talk. It made me feel so loved.

Then, Tuesday, I was trying to get to class, and a train stopped and blocked my way almost making me late. At this point, I texted Matt and told him God was pooping on me. I seriously felt like nothing was going to go right this week. Then Wednesday I walked into work and walked right into the middle of an employee luncheon that I knew literally nothing about. I mean, it shut the whole company down and every single employee was there. I was so embarrassed. Literally four and a half bad days in a row. I could only take so much.

Finally though, some good news came through. Matt's recruiter had called and said that they could move his swear in date up to this week. So today we came up to Kansas City to go to MEPS so that Matthew could start the process. His recruiter told him that would take the DLAB today to see if he would qualify for the cryptologic linguist. Turns out the squadron (which covers about four states) was holding this job for him. So we came up and he took the test. He scored a 122! For the Air Force, you need a 105 to qualify. Matt did amazing on it! He called me and I was so happy for him. As long as he passes the physical requirements tomorrow, he should be good to go! It's going to be such an awesome ride. Tomorrow, he swears in, and I know that it will be a moment where I've never been more proud of anyone. I'm so thankful that God has put us on this path.

This week has had a lot of downs and a few ups. It's been a long week, but I know that things will turn around. God always provides, and I trust in Him. My anger has faded for the most part, and I've been praying extra hard and extra long this week and especially today. I know that prayer changes things and I know that God is really listening to me. I'm starting to delve deeper and deeper into my Bible and I'm loving what I find. Becoming a Christian has literally been the best thing to ever happen to me.

Freedom From Insecurities.

Tonight in small group we talked about insecurities. To begin with, we talked about how we defined secure and insecure. Some of the things that were mentioned for insecure were: unsound, unsafe, shaky, not confident. Some of the things for secure were: safe, confident, embracing yourself. The dictionary defines insecure as "not confident or assured; uncertain or anxious". Secure is defined as "fixed or fastened so as to not give way, become loose, or be lost". Wow. I really love that because one of the best ways to become secure is to be secure in God. If you can strive towards being secure in God, you will never lose yourself.

One of my favorite parts about talking about this was to hear my close friends talk about what makes them insecure and how they work to overcome those insecurities. Of course, I won't give examples here, but it is very encouraging to hear that I'm not the only one who is insecure.

One thing that was mentioned that really stuck out to me was about how we constantly compare ourselves to others. There's always some gap that we want to fill, but the only thing that can fill that gap is God. And that's seriously so true. I loved when one of my small group leaders talked about that. It totally makes sense to me.

It always amazes me how God can present messages to you. One thing that I am seriously insecure about is praying out loud. I won't even do it when I'm alone. I'm always afraid that I won't do it right, or that I'll say something wrong. I listen to others pray so eloquently, and I'm just not to that point yet. Then today, I stumbled across this on Pinterest:

Ever since last week, I've been so anxious about one part of small group: the end when we pray. At the end, my group leaders take prayer requests and the rest of the group volunteers to take one prayer request and then we go around the group and pray out loud. Last week, I didn't volunteer. I felt (and still feel) insecure about praying out loud. Then I stumbled across this quote today. It gave me a little bit of security. Tonight, I did it. I faced my insecurity head on. I prayed out loud. Yes, it was awkward. Yes, it wasn't very eloquent. Yes, I stumbled and stuttered. But you know what? I did it. But I thought it was just so perfect that God had our group talk about our insecurities tonight after I'd been stressing about this for like a week. God works in such wonderful but mysterious ways. He really does have your best interest in mind. Sometimes I falter in that, but I know it in my heart to be true. It's one of the infinite reasons that I have grown to seriously love God.

One of the verses we talked about tonight was 1 Peter 2:11. It says, "Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul." The point we really emphasized was the fact that we are foreigners here in this world. Our true home is in Heaven with God. When you put it that way.. every opinion here on earth becomes seriously insignificant.

Another verse we talked about was 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. Definitely one of my favorite verses so far. Although, I do have a lot of favorites. Anyway, here's what it says: " We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." Wow.

Some of the other verses we looked at are these: Romans 8:31-39, Mark 10:17-23, Proverbs 18:10. I could seriously write a paragraph about each, but it's really late and this post is already getting really long. I seriously really loved our small group tonight. It was powerful and much needed. Life is about to get tough, and I'm definitely going to need to rely on God. At Chi Alpha on Monday, we talked about how our walk with God should not be in neutral and that we should be moving forward. I fully plan to move forward with my relationship with God, and I couldn't be more excited about it. One of the best parts is that I now have an amazing group of girls to walk along side me and help me along the way.

Ever since I became a Christian I had so many people tell me that I should get involved in a small group because having women my age help guide me and walk with me through my faith. I didn't know how right they were until tonight. It may only be the third week, but I can already tell how much these wonderful women will help me grow stronger in my faith. God has blessed me with some amazing friends. (Okay, I'm done being mushy, promise.)

There's one last thing I want to leave you with. I've posted it before, but I'm going to post it again because I think it is super important for everyone to listen to it.

Insecurely: A Spoken Word

I have to add one more thing, because I totally just watched this and it was AMAZING. Literally gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.

LISTEN AND WATCH. 

And the winner is...

Matthew and I just got home from talking with the Air Force recruiter. Matt has started the application process and will hopefully being going to swear in next week. This decision hasn't really been an easy one, but I know in my heart that we are taking the right path. I'm excited to see what our future holds for us. God has really provided for us, and I know that He will continue to. Thank you to everyone who has kept us in their prayers through this process. We appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

Date Nights.

The last two nights have been amazing!

Last night, Matthew surprised me with a date night. I came home from work and Matt had the whole night planned. We ate delicious spaghetti and cheese bread. Then Matt surprised me with Grease (which he had bought that day) and cookies (no, he didn't make them, haha)! It was just absolutely wonderful. The perfect end to a day.

Then tonight, I went to a catch up dinner with my friend, Abi. She's such a special person to me, and I love seeing her. Sadly, we always wait about two months before we finally have dinner. But it's understandable because we both live super busy lives. But we went to Panera, and I found out that they put their mac n cheese in a bread bowl! YUM. It was seriously so good. But the conversation was even better. I seriously look up to Abi like a big sister. She's so amazing.

Now I'm home though and about to watch The Passion of the Christ. I'm kind of nervous to watch it. I've never seen it before, and I just know I'm going to cry. I'm not exactly sure why I suddenly have the urge to watch it. I have been meaning to, but other things have popped up. But I was listening to one of my favorite songs on the way home: Glorious Day by Casting Crowns (look it up - it's seriously good). There's a line about how Jesus took the nails for us, and I suddenly just really wanted to watch this movie. So here we go.

Shall we play catch up?

Hello, my friends. I'm so very sorry that it has been so long since I've really written on here. I just have been so caught up in school, Chi Alpha, friendship, and family. There's been kind of a lot of ups and downs lately. It's definitely getting crazy.

First off, Chi Alpha is so amazing. Definitely one of the best parts of my life at the moment. The people that I'm getting close to are so wonderful. I love each and every one of them just so much. Last night was our second small group, and let's just say that I'm still on a high from it. Literally all the girls in it are just so awesome. I may not know all them super well, but I can tell that this semester is going to be crazy awesome. I've also decided that I'm going to go on Fall Retreat. I've heard such great things about it, and I'm SO excited to go. God has some great plans for us, and I can't see where He will take us.

Classes have been okay so far. It was a rough start for some of my classes, because Blackboard went a little wonky. But that's okay, it all got figured out and class has gone on as planned. My classes this semester are definitely harder than any of my classes have been so far. I wasn't completely prepared for it, but I know that I can do this. It's all about applying myself. (HA!)

Things are kind of on edge right now on my dad's side of the family. At least, for me anyway. I got a call about a week ago from my dad that my great-aunt is not doing well at all and that her husband isn't much better. My dad said that my great-aunt probably won't last much longer. As excited as I am that she'll get to be with God, I'm so very sad that my family will be losing her. My dad's side of the family has always been really close (well, until the last few years, anyway), and she will be one of the first to go. It's definitely going to be really rough.

In two days, Matthew & I are getting our washer and dryer! We went to Lowe's on Monday and we ended up buying a washer and dryer! It was a little iffy for a bit, but God provided for us. It's getting delivered Sunday morning, and then we will never have to frequent a laundry mat ever again! We were seriously so excited. It was our first big purchase as a married couple.

On Tuesday, Matthew and I will be talking again to the Air Force recruiter. We have a few remaining questions for him. If all goes as planned, Matthew will be committing to the Air Force that day or soon after. I've been praying a lot about this. I don't want us to make the wrong decision, and I've just been praying that God will make the choice very clear, and I have faith that He will.

Next weekend, Matthew & I will be going back up to Kansas City. My other great-aunt, Sister Mary will be at my grandma's! I'm so very excited. Matthew hasn't met Sister yet, and I am so stoked that he's finally going to get to. She's one of my most favorite family members (and I'm not afraid to admit it!), and I'm so glad she is finally going to meet the man I'm spending the rest of my life with. I can't wait!

Life has a lot going on right now, and I'm definitely excited for the future, as you can probably tell. But I'm really trying to focus on the here and now. We talked about being content with our lives last night at small group, and it really hit me. I'm always so busy trying to rush into the future, when I really should be focusing on what's right in front of me. God wants us to live life to the fullest, and I feel like I'm taking so much away from my life by constantly trying to rush into the future. I'm ready to start enjoying each and every day to the fullest!

Meet Lily.

This is Lily! (Yes, after Lily Potter - we love our Harry Potter). We adopted her yesterday afternoon from C.A.R.E. Adoption Center/Shelter here in Springfield! We like to go to them because they are a no kill shelter that works with animal control. It's where we also got Luna.

At first, we weren't planning on getting a cat because we didn't really have the money to drop on the adoption fee. However, we had some repeat wedding gifts that we had been meaning to return to Bed Bath & Beyond. So we dug them out of a closet and took them up there. At first they weren't going to give us cash back for them, but luckily Matt had talked to manager on the phone who said she would do that for us. So we got some extra cash. Then we went back to the shelter.

We originally thought that Lily was about a year old because that's what the sheet said. Well, come to find out, she's actually a kitten. Seven months old. She seemed really calm and laid back at the shelter, so we went ahead and got her. I mean, how crazy can a seven month old kitten be?

Correct answer: CRAZY.

We got home and she set off exploring! She definitely was NOT shy. She tried to get in every nook and cranny there is in our townhouse. In fact, in the picture up top, she was looking at the space between the fridge and the wall. We let Luna sniff Lily before we let her out of the carrier, and it seemed like it might be okay. WRONG. As soon as we opened the door and let Lily out, Luna started hissing at her. Even this morning Luna hisses at Lily. Luna even growls at her! I had no idea cats could even growl!

Matt and I were really nervous about it last night. But we're going to give this a shot. We made a commitment and we're going to stick to it. They both just need some time to get used to each other. I mean, I totally get it. Luna's territory is suddenly being invaded by some strange kitten. I get it. I think it will work out. I hope it will anyway.

Everyone keeps making jokes that I'm slowing becoming a cat lady - THIS IS A FALLACY! I am stopping at two, I promise. I don't think I could handle any more. My land lady has three, and I find it obnoxious. But either way, I do love my two kitties. But I PROMISE I'm stopping at two. :)

Slip N Slide & other shenanigans.

The last few days have been so busy and wonderful. I'm so glad that school has started back up and that everyone is back in Springfield!

Wednesday night was fun. Matthew and I went to Olive Garden after I got off work. He had never been! As always, it was sooo good. I'm most definitely a fan of endless salad and breadsticks. No complaints here!

Yesterday was pretty much awesome too! Class in the morning was nothing specially, really. And the early afternoon wasn't anything spectacular. Although, Matt & I went grocery shopping and saved over $30! Woohoo! It was a huge grocery trip though. But now we have all kinds of food! Last night was AWESOME though. Chi Alpha had a Slip N Slide on the intramural fields on campus! That's right - two huge tarps covered in soap and water. There was at least 50 people that showed up. It was SO much fun! Remember that spoken word I posted on here? (If you don't, here's that blog - Insecurely.) Here's a picture of him last night! I think it is a perfect snapshot of how fun it was.

As more pictures come out, I'll share them on here. It was such a fun night. There was so much fellowship and friendship, I'm pretty sure my heart could have burst. Now, I feel like my muscles could burst. Literally just about every muscle on my body hurts - my legs, my arms, my stomach. I can hardly move around today. That sure made it fun taking Luna to the vet this morning!

Speaking of the vet, that sure was an adventure this morning. First, I showed up late on accident. I thought the appointment was at 9:30, when it was really at 9:00. Then the lady told me that they had tried to call me but hadn't reached me. They needed to tell me that the lady I normally go to is actually scheduled off today. I told her that they should work me in because it wasn't my fault she was off and they had scheduled me. She was really nice about it and the vet worked me in. GOOD NEWS: My baby finally is healthy! She still has a bit of inflammation in her left ear, so I'll keep up medicine for another week, but we are bacteria free!! After dealing with this for a little over a month, it was so great to hear that. I'm so happy my Luna is no longer sick!

First day of classes.

Whew. It was an interesting day to say the least.

I found out a LOT of interesting things. For instance, I found out that the books that the bookstore sent me for three of my classes are wrong. That's right.... THREE. But no big deal. I mean, who needs books right?

The second thing I found out is that I'm basically taking two graduate level classes. SAY WHAT. I'm seriously nervous about it. I mean, I dropped a class this summer that was a combined undergrad/graduate class because it was hard and the structure sucked. Now I'm in a combo class again and in another class where the professor only teaches grad and doctorate levels so he's going to treat us like grad students. HELLO. I'm not ready for this. Especially because my psychology of addictions class is going to be really hard. He's basically making it a neurology class. And I suck with stuff like that. The worst part, is that these two classes are my psychology classes, which are for my MINOR. Goodness. I'm definitely going to be praying for guidance through these classes. Jeesh.

Some GOOD news though.. Matt found a second job to help tide us over until he leaves for basic. It was such a blessing to find this job! Speaking of basic, Matt is making a decision in the next couple of days which branch he's going into. He's talking to Army today to see if they have any sweet deals and we are both talking to the Navy tomorrow. If neither of them can give him a super sweet deal, he's going to commit to the Air Force. Matt talked to his dad yesterday about the DLAB. Both his parents have taken it and did super well on it. His dad thinks that Matt could pass it easily, which would be AWESOME! So the next couple of days will be super fun. I can't wait to see where Matthew ends up.

Some more good news is that small groups start next week! Yes, I know it's over a week away, but I'm still so stoked. Chi Alpha Monday, and small groups Thursday. My weeks are going to be so awesome!

Chi Alpha.

This post won't be long because I'm bone tired (where does that saying even come from?), but I really just wanted to share something amazing with you!

GOD IS AMAZING!

I went to Chi Alpha tonight, which is a campus ministry at MoState. There's so much fellowship and friendship, it's just insane. The message tonight was amazing, the people were amazing, it was just amazing. God was definitely moving tonight and it was wonderful.


Okay, I know I'm rambling, but I do have a point here. A year ago, I was just becoming a Christian. I was barely dabbling my toes into the faith and I wasn't sure what to think. Tonight, the worship brought me to tears. I realized that I've come such a long way. But I also know I have a long way to go. I'm so excited for what my future has in store, and I know that God has it all under control. It's going to be an amazing year.

It's that time again...

Classes officially started today. Luckily for me, I don't have seated classes Monday, Wednesday, or Friday. Sadly for me, my first class starts at 8 tomorrow morning. But that's okay. It'll be all good. I have that class with one of my best friends. So it'll work out.

These last few days have been just crazy! Super awesome, but crazy.  Matthew & I talked a lot about the military and have pretty much narrowed it down to two branches: Air Force and Navy. I'm pretty sure that Matt's leaning towards Air Force, which I'm excited about. I think there are a LOT of opportunities for him in the Air Force. We are going to talk to both recruiters again this week.

Saturday was super fun! We went to a swap meet at the Ozark Empire Fair Grounds. It was so interesting! There were a lot of old cars that were all fixed up. It was so cool. I found some really cool scarves that were super cheap! It was such a great way to spend our afternoon. It was my first full weekend off where I didn't have anything to do in forever. Spending an afternoon outside with Matthew was wonderful. After we got home, he made a scrumptious dinner. It was bbq pork chops with mashed potatoes and green beans on the side. YUM. After dinner we didn't feel like sitting around so we went for a nice long walk through a really nice retirement neighborhood across the street from us. It was quite the adventure!

Then yesterday was just as great. We didn't even get up until about noon. Once we finally got up, we made french toast. Again, it was yummy! then we just hung around until about 4:30. We left to go get birthday presents for my cousin Jordan and one of my good friends Sarah. Once that was done, we went to campus to see Jordan's room! I'm seriously so excited that she's going to be down here for school. It will be such fun. I got to see her roommate again and meet some of her friends. Then we all went to Chi Alpha's root beer kegger! Oh my word. There were so many people there! It was just wonderful. I got to see so many of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I don't think I've given out so many hugs in a while! Well, except for the wedding, of course. One thing that was super awesome, was that I met Josh Buckner! He's the guy who did the spoken word that I blogged about a little while back. It was awesome. It's the first time that I've met someone who has read my blog and I hadn't met them yet. Talk about cool. It was really encouraging and definitely reminded me why I blog. I want my words to reach people they normally wouldn't. I want my words to create friendships. I want my words to make a difference.

After we left the root beer kegger we went to Five Guys for dinner. Yesterday was mine and Matthew's one year mark. Last year on the 18th, we became "official". It has been the fastest, most amazing year of my life. I still can't believe we are married. I always think I love Matthew as much as possible, and then I'm proven wrong. I truly love this man with everything I have and I can't wait to see what all the years ahead hold for us.