Not all who wander are lost.

Remember that time I talked about feeling really lost? If you don't... here's the link --> click!

On the drive back today from KC (side note: we had an amazing weekend.) I had a really long talk with Matthew about how I've been feeling lately. It's a really hard feeling to describe, but I feel as if I have this invisible string tied around my waist that's pulling me somewhere. Except I have no idea where. 

Lately I've just really felt that Springfield is not the place I need to be. I can feel that God is calling me to do something bigger. Only problem is that I don't know what or where. I know that I'm meant to help people. I can feel that. I've really been struggling with this lately, and I haven't really mentioned it to Matt. 

One reason I mentioned it is because it's starting  to show in my school work. I'm doing fine in my psychology class, but I've really been struggling to find motivation for my criminology class. I think in part it's because I'm not sure if I want to be a probation officer or anything like that anymore. 

Something that has really caught my attention lately is missionary work. Which throws me for a loop! If you had asked me a year ago if I would consider to be a missionary I would have laughed in your face. But lately, it's been something that I'm really drawn to. I have no idea why. It's not something I've ever thought of doing. But there's something just drawing me towards it.

I really want to take a break from school. As I said before, I can feel that Springfield is not the place I need to be. But I'm so close to my degree, I feel obligated to stay here. 

 In light of this struggle, I'm going to take a few steps to try and find clarity. I'm going to try and find a place down here to volunteer to fill my desire of helping people. I have a couple ideas, and I'm going to ask around for some more ideas. I'm also thinking of trying a fast that is geared toward clarity. That's something I've never done before, and I think it could be a big step for my faith. Matthew and I are also going to try and find a church that fits us and that we could be involved with long term. 

I'm hoping I can figure out what my true calling is. I trust in God to lead me down the right path. It's a matter of trying to be patient. Which we know I'm not very good at. 

If you have any advice, feel free to share it. I'll gladly accept it. :)